Totally Accurate Battle Simulator Review

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Totally Accurate Battle Simulator

Totally Accurate Battle Simulator

Requirements minimum
  • OS: Windows 7
  • Processor: 2.5gz
  • Graphics: GTX 560ti
  • Storage: 300 MB available space
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Clumsy History: Totally Accurate Battle Stimulator Review

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Another piece of insanity from the creators of Clustertruck. It has elements of strategy and tactics of a real historical battle in a weird mix with funny physics that reminds you how strange and peculiar the world around you really is. Currently, you can download Totally Accurate Battle Stimulator in its Alpha version and pre-order it on Steam, if you like.

Graphics 3/5

Well, graphics are not the game’s strongest point, because its developers are more concerned with the twists of a real-world mechanics, but even in such a primitive shape, it adds to an overall craziness of the game. The battles are staged between red and blue armies in a so-called battlefield that sometimes consists only of strangely shaped flowers and angular grass. The most exciting part of it is the player’s ability to move the camera around the whole battlefield and watch every detail very closely.

Totally Accurate Battle Simulator Picture

Gameplay 5/5

Totally Accurate Battle Stimulator says it all with its name. In the Alpha version, there are two modes of the game: the mission mode and the sandbox mode. You face twenty level campaign in the mission mode: the enemy strength grows with every level, but so do your army resources. You can choose from a wide range of units: from peasants packed in hundreds to musketeers to ninjas. All the main army units from war history are present here. When two rival sides have gathered their troops just press ‘Go!’ and watch the beautiful war theatre happens. If the early levels are fun no matter what type of unit you choose, the higher ones require more strategic planning.

In the sandbox mode, you can create armies without price limit and fight just for the sake of it. Every unit has its unique abilities and sometimes getting medieval archers into a fight with a modern day infantry with explosives can be a pure revelation. Every fight looks like a chaotic and hilarious dance.

Controls 2.5/5

Every Totally Accurate Battle Stimulator Review says a couple of mean words about the game controls. Though the idea of panning the camera around seems brilliant, the performance is often sluggish. The menus don’t look like anything at all and can be irritating. Not perfect, but bearable is our verdict. Hopefully, the full version will overcome the game’s general clumsiness leaving us on the battlefield that is free of glitches.

Totally Accurate Battle Simulator Picture 2

Replay Value 4/5

Even the Alpha demo has a strong replaying potential, as you can manage every level one way or another and analyze all the strategical possibilities lying in front of you. It wouldn’t be too hard to imagine how curious about every game option the players of a full version will be. Every restart here means even more unit types and absurd fighting. Have you tried to defeat the chicken man yet?


This game is a war history of humanity with less blood and more fun. If you’re interested in military history, this is a top choice stimulator for recreating battles from past eras. If you’re here just for good fighting, enjoy the game’s surreal humor with its chicken man and barrel-rollers versus gravity-backpackers battles. With such a promising Alpha, the full version will be a total blast, so get to know the rules in advance!



Download Totally Accurate Battle Stimulator to capture the true madness of war in a funny and lighthearted way.

Pros : Funniest battle experience;
Mission and Sandbox modes present;
Excellent choice of units;
Never gets too serious

Cons : Graphics glitches can get annoying;
Controls are pretty sluggish

Graphics 3.5

Gameplay 5

Controls 2.5

Replay Value 4

Average : 3.8


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